Park Jaebeom is officially out. 1:59 in.

if anyone knows anything about me, it’s that i have an undying love for Jay. He’s my idol, my ideal man, all i wish i could be. and now that i know he won’t be apart of my all time favorite male group now is heart braking. i can’t take it.

i come home from school, excited to see what’s new to the kpop scene, and the first things i see- Breaking News: Park Jaebeom will not be coming back to 2pm.

Initiate heart-stopping.

tears just flowed off my eyes. i couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe. i NEVER thought this would happen. i didnt care how long it would take for him to come back, as long as he would. i was waiting everyday to see the news; Jaebeom is coming back to 2pm. everyday i was disappointed. but this. i can’t handle this. what am i supposed to do now? cheer on this six member-ed 2pm. no. during Heartbeat promotions i stayed true to them, hoping for Jay’s return. but hearing this news, i don’t know what to think. when 2pm debuted, Wooyoung was the only one i liked. but after Only You, my eyes were set on Jay. Jonghyun, Yoseob, Wooyoung, Seungri, Geunsuk, Dongho, Kibum, they all meant nothing compared to him. His voice. His dancing. His undeniable Asian eyes. His cheesy smile. His facial expression when he tries to make his notes run. His b-boy style. His pink underwear. His third grade Korean. His pierced ears. His hair that once said 2pm. His peace sign. His outgoing personality. His hilarity. And his passion. i never thought i would be those crazy fan-girls who would love an idol so bad. but i only fell for him. i would marry this guy in a heartbeat. but i never got upset when i saw him with Jessica. i was happy for him. if Jay was happy, that was good enough for me. i prayed to God EVER SINGLE DAY since his departure, not for him to come back, but for him to be okay. for him to be happy. it’s his choice to leave 2pm. but i’ll accept it if he’s happy. hell yeah i’m depressed that he won’t go back onstage for us, the Hottests. but i guess he made me too happy during his time of stardom that my love for him hasn’t been shattered at all. why am i ranting. none of this matters. i guess writing this all out is a good way to vent, and a good way to remind myself how much this guy i have never met means to me.

i hope everyone out there accepts his decision. it’s sad. undeniably. but i can’t bear it if more drama happens. not for him. please. goodbye.

Jaebeom aka Leadja, you will always be remembered and never forgotten. you’ll be my #1- always. and i’ll forever be waiting for your return, no matter what stupid news say. Himnae!

be Safe~ Sujung


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