Groups that Should Have Been (6/27/14)

Imagine what life would be like if these groups had been formed. Imagine all the endless eargasms, the never-ending fangirling, and the unfailing obsession love we’d all have for them. Life would be glorious, indeed…that is, if we’d all still have one (which I doubt, because we would probably all be staying home in our PJs while eating a nice big bowl of Oreo Cereal and sitting behind a computer just to spend countless numbers of hours drooling at live performances and newly released music videos).

ANYWAYS, here’s ten groups that never got the chance to make the cut, but definitely should have.

VOTING AT THE END

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10) KoA – Kahi & BoA

Honestly, the only reason I put these two together is simply for the fact that they would be a crazy good dancing duo. I mean, those skills. The fact that Kahi used to be BoA’s choreographer and backup dancer only solidifies the idea. Besides, KoA would dominate the female dance scene.

Wait. No. Not just dominate.

Destroy -whispers-

9) The Falsettos – Junho (2PM), Junsu (2PM), Taeyang (Big Bang), & G.O (MBLAQ)

Ehem. I think it’s preeeetty safe to say that the name speaks for itself – “The Falsettos”. Literally no one else out there can reach those high notes like these fellas can (may lightning strike me if I’m wrong…which I probably am). But still, those high notes are worthy of praise.

I would have put Nichkhun in this list too, but I feel like that would have been just a teeeeeeny bit too much of 2PM muscle going on, and these men have more than enough of biceps, triceps, six-packs, collar bones, and pectorals to lick. But enough of muscles. We’re not here for the muscles. We’re here for the voices.

Yeaaaaaaa. The voices (or so we think).

8) SYIT – Sanchez (Phantom), Seo In Guk, Taeil (Block B), & Yoseob (B2ST)

If sophisticated swag and classic couture came together and had babies, SYIT (pronounce it how you may) would be their star child. I mean COME ON…you’d have the perfect mix of vocals who all can do that thing that they all do. Y’know. That thing. That thing where they can make their voice go all wavey and then hit a super high note but then all of a sudden slap you in the face with complete softness. That thing where they work you up to a climax – sorta like climbing a mountain – and then right when the moment ensues – when you’re at the tippy top of the mountain – they push you over the edge but somehow carry you back down to Earth on a cloud. (WHAT?)

Really seriously though, I have no doubt in my mind that these guys would have been the ultimate R&B/Jazz group, with a touch of Hip Hop. But not just any Hip Hop. Classy Hip Hop. Make sense? Good.

7) The Baby Makers – Eric Nam & John Park

Can we all just pretend for a second the glory that would ensue if John Mayer and Jason Mraz came together? Did you do it? Are we done now? Okay, moving on.

So now that we have that image planted in your mind (assuming that at least 90% of you guys have even the slightest clue as to who John Mayer and Jason Mraz is), imagine the same exact scenario for a John Park-and-Eric Nam pairing -POOF- Did you feel that? That was your ear ovaries exploding (if those even exist).

John’s deep range and Eric’s crisp, fresh tone would be like diving down into a deep, silent abyss of calmness (minus the prospect of running out of air AKA drowning AKA dying). The Baby Makers would revitalize your whole entire essence. Listening to four minutes of pure soulful, soothing music is all you need to start the baby-makin’ process, I promise you.

In a way we can thank the world for never letting these two come together though, because if it happened…well…let’s just say that we’ll need more living space. And a heck of a whole lot of it.

6) Rockstarz – Lee Hong Ki (FT Island), Jung Yong Hwa (CN Blue), Moon (Royal Pirates), Jeong Jin Woon (2AM), Kim Sung Gyu (Infinite), & Jungmin (SS501)

Closing in on number six we present to you Rockstarz – AKA Really Overly Cool Korean Singers That All Rock Zocks (Yes that’s “socks” with a “z”…don’t ask questions…K-Pop is like this).

The name is true to itself. When you take three good-lookin’ lead singers of super talented bands PLUS three friggin’ star-quality voices of some hot boy groups, you’ll get the most respect-worthy K-Pop boy band (literally) ever to have walked this Earth.

With a heavy-set voice like Jinwoon’s; a raspy tone like Hong Ki’s; a calming vibe like Yong Hwa’s; a power-filled harmony sung by Sung Gyu; an eerie-yet-addicting sound like Jung Min’s; and a smooth, clear melody like Moon’s; you’ll croon and sway to their every hit. Just picture their debut title. It’d most likely be an incredibly catchy song with a groovy feel to it, all the while sticking true to its roots of sick keyboarding, skillful bass playing, intense guitar strumming, and kick-butt lyrics. I won’t lie…in comparison to the previous groups we mentioned, Rockstarz would sincerely go far.

5) Arpeggio – IU, Juniel, Soohyun (Akdong Musician), Fat Cat

Now that we’re starting to hit the Top 5, let’s get down to some legitimate business. Who ever said a girl group wasn’t a strong enough contender to make the best of this list? Girl power FTW!

Like an arpeggio, I believe as much as I do in Santa Claus that with their extreme capabilities, IU, Juniel, Fat Cat and Soohyun would be able to harmonize and hit each and every key with their voices in perfect secession, sort of like a rift. A capella would definitely be their thing, no challenges there. Oh, and on the bonus side, they’re all so A) cute B) fresh C) empowering D) all of the above. But don’t get your panties in a bunch now. These young girls who you might think are as rejuvenating as the first days of Spring would abaolutely have the ability to make you cry with one of their sad songs. It’s not difficult to think about how tear-stricken we’d all be the moment they’d perform a soft, enchanting song while playing their guitars and singing about dying flowers.

4) RAP NATION – Simon D, Gary (LeesSang), Verbal Jint, Mad Clown, Tablo (Epik High), & Swings

Just glance at this list of people. You don’t need to think twice to understand that I’m right. These guys would be a HUGE success, which is why they’re number four.

Hands down RAP NATION would take the country of Korea by storm. They’d bring something new to the table, called “Quality Rap”, and it’d be a dish served hot. Now pardon me to all my K-Pop groups about there. No offense intended, but we all know that just because your company told you to rap, you’re not always a rapper. There are a few exceptions to the rule, of course…but nowadays what Korea labels as “rapping” is not truly that great. RAP NATION could help change that! Their lyrics wouldn’t just be a jumble of mispronounced Engrish phrases (Yoochun I love you, but c’mon now) or no-sense nonsense, but instead a string of strongly-felt and meaningful words woven together like a musical poem. I don’t know about y’all, but RAP NATION would bring some very chill vibes that you wouldn’t help but to bow your heads down to in utter astonishment.

3) Z-Dragon – Zico (Block B) & G-Dragon (Big Bang)

YES THIS SHOULD HAPPEN. NO DON’T NOD YOUR HEAD SIDEWAYS. UP AND DOWN. JUST LIKE THAT. GOOD BOY -pets-

Okay…I’m not the only one that knows this problem needs to be solved as much as world hunger: why haven’t these two collaborated yet?! But anyways, that’s besides the point. The point is, if Z-Dragon happened, it’d be like a fat kid eating cake…and not on his birthday (sorry fat kids of the world…if cake isn’t your thing then I apologize). On their own G-D and Zico possess God-given talents, so putting them together is only the right thing to do.

If I were allowed to go to only one K-Pop concert in the entire stretch of my lifetime, I’d go to Z-Dragon’s. Why, you ask? Their stage presence would be off the hook. OFF. THE. HOOK. The audience would never want to go home. They’d be the leading factor of a Korean version of EDC. Not to mention, they’d also be South Korea’s top-notch fashion icons of the era. AND THEIR HAIR THEIR HAIR OMG YES THE HAIR. SOMEONE INSURE THOSE. And okay, I guess the fact that they produce their own music and compose songs and write lyrics are pretty cool too…but whatevs (THE HAIR).

2) Terminator – P.O, Bang Yong Guk (B.A.P), & T.O.P (Big Bang)

Guess why they’d be called Terminator. Go ahead. Guess. Can’t figure it out? Oh. Ok. Well it’s only merely because they’d terminate your ovaries, ear drums, pulse, eyeballs, blood flow, body. And your soul while we’re at it. Thankfully they wouldn’t be called Grim Reapers, because although they technically would be stealing your life away, they’re not doing it because they want to.

It’s surprising how I managed to subconsciously place potential rap groups in my top three before #1, but I can sort of comprehend why. For one, I feel like the rappers of K-Pop lack the rightful attention they deserve (but then again on the other hand, this is K-Pop and not K-Rap). And second of all, maybe I like my Korean rappers too much (I’m tired of the same old American version).

Yet either way, no matter the reason, Terminator would absolutely positively definitely reassuringly 100% own it. Maybe I’m just doing this for their deep voices. Just maybe. BUT IN REALITY WE ALL NEED TO LISTEN TO THEIR VOICES SIMULTANEOUSLY SING-SONG RAPPING BEFORE WE DIE IT’S ON ALL OF OUR BUCKET LISTS DON’T TRY TO DENY IT.

Magic.

That’s what would happen if Terminator went down.

Pure magic.

1) KING – K.Will, Lee Hyun (8Eight), Daesung (Big Bang), Changmin (2AM), Hwanhee, Yesung (Super Junior), Tae Ha, & Eru

Take the strongest vocalists you know, combine them, and form a group that undermines exactly what it means to be the epitome of a great excellent superb extraordinary perfect supreme band of seriously down-right gifted dudes.

Some of you (maybe most) might not have even heard of Tae Ha, Eru or Hwanhee before (if ya do I salute you)…but know that they’re equally as strong as Yesung, Daesung, Changmin, and K.Will.

Now I’ll outline a couple of key points for this grouping that seriously should have been:

– Their deep, husky voices command center stage
– Their ballads are so intensely packed with emotion that it gives you the feels, all the time
– When singing live, their tones are concise, neat, and cut-throat, albeit still unique and their own
– Their facial expressions during live broadcasts tell a story of their own that impacts us in ways we cannot understand

Individually each man is pure and raw talent in its finest, most divine form. So together, it’d be a match made in Heaven.

This is one group out of this whole list of which I whole-heartedly vouch for, especially in relation to possessing the most potential at being a successful endeavor based on artistry skills alone.

And is it me, but don’t they all have pretty much the same hair cut? (THE HAIR I TELL YOU)

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And so with that ends our first ever Faceoff Friday! Thanks for sticking through the whole thing. This one was a bit lengthy, but I wanted to make sure I was being thorough and logical(ish). In future times to come, I promise to be more straightforward and to the point.

Now it’s YOUR TURN to vote! Make sure to participate and the winner will be announced next week!

– Jomarie